Wednesday, 14 October 2009
The Kinesis Thesis- a review
With a lot of British rap acts having to go the Dubstep, Grime or Drum 'N' Bass route to survive, it comes as a breath of fresh air to discover K.I.N.E.T.I.K, a truly talented rapper, out of the hectic streets of Kensal Rise, North London, at the 'notorious' end of the Bakerloo Line.
Citing influences such as Wu-Tang-Clan and the Lost Boys, this 27-year-old has been on a mission to return hip-hop back to its purposeful roots and essence - namely, a great lyrical flow, a variety of meaningful subjects and some wicked production, featuring scratching to add flavour to two tracks.
Taking film director Alfred Hitchcock's adage about grabbing the audience's attention in the first few minutes, Kinetik jumps out of the box with 'Let's Go', a blistering, amped track where he just rhymes for his life, announcing his purpose and telling all competitors to 'fall back.' The production hits you rougher than an animal, with a cinematic punch to the face, complete with a apt scratched-in Big L sample: "You think you're nice as me? Ha ha!'
Things slow down a bit on the title track, 'The Kinesis Thesis', to take things a little more reflectively. Over a nice funky two-step drum-riff and a female vocal, Kinetik raps about his reasons for being a rapper and the struggle to achieve his goals.
Other tracks speak upon living in London - 'In the City' paints a vivid picture of the daily grind of avoiding drugs, guns and having to survive - the hip-hop business, ('Keep it Goin') and domestic violence ('Love Has Never Lived Here'.) The 1980s break of choice, Melvin Bliss' 'Synthetic Substitution', provides the foundation for 'An Intense Rush', a track that speaks of the thoughts and feelings of rhyming as an outlet for frustration and positivity. 'Don't Be Silly' has a lovely trumpet sample and some Roy Ayers- inspired xylophones lacing the subject of Kinetik's lack of commitment with the ladies.
Inspired possibly by Nas, we also have 'Memory Lane', which is no less vivid and heartfelt than Nas' version. Kinetik raps about his hip-hop influences ('B.I.G') and quotes some cartoons of old such as Ninja Turtles and Transformers.
Kinetik reminded me a lot of underrated rapper O.C, another rhymer with skill, high-quality production and a gift for painting gritty stories with his rhymes. Thankfully, whilst Kinetik talks about British lives and issues, it doesn't detract from how well-produced the album is, or how much care and thought has gone into his rhymes.
If you're bemoaning all the Yin of hip-hop being about partying, blunts and materialism, then balance your Yang and support this artist. No more moaning; it's time to put your money where your mouth is and enjoy the essence of rap once again.
The Human Condition...
So, I just finished watching the mamoth (9.5 hour) Japanese epic "The Human Condition", recently released on Region 1 dvd by Criterion, upgrading it from some horrible VHS versions and a jarzy triple dvd set that didn't do the film(s) justice.
As we humans seem to be the only ones that question why we are here, beyond the basic need to survive etc, it seems only fitting that a film try and tackle the questions of 'Why are we here?' in a tangible way. As I've always argued: "there's no real meaning to life, which is why we must bring meaning to it."
The film is adapted by director Maski Kobayashi from Jumpei Gomikawa's six-volume novel, and, in three parts, tells the story of Kaji (Tatsuya Nakadai), an idealistic technocrat and it's his story, his anguish that contrasts this sprawling epic, which encompasses so many vistas, so many changes of weather and scenery, that this is about as near as a movie gets to recreating the scope of a novel.
It's really about one man trying to change things in the face of so much oppression; a man trying to make things better despite the increasingly hostility and loneliness he suffers.
On one hand he could be seen as a stubborn, self-righteous prig, and, on the other, a true moralist, standing up for the rights of the individual, who usually had no say in how they find themselves, especially as this film is set around WWII, a time of termoil for most.
I enjoyed the film, even though it was the longest I've sat through in about a year. Much of what he goes through in the film resonated with me, in my own experiences. There's a lack of morality and decency in a lot of a humanity, or lack thereof. I bemoan comments like "Well, that's just the way it is." It isn't. It's a choice, and we must never forget that whilst most of us don't understand why we're on planet Earth, our dealings with each other could be a whole lot more productive and happier.
As we humans seem to be the only ones that question why we are here, beyond the basic need to survive etc, it seems only fitting that a film try and tackle the questions of 'Why are we here?' in a tangible way. As I've always argued: "there's no real meaning to life, which is why we must bring meaning to it."
The film is adapted by director Maski Kobayashi from Jumpei Gomikawa's six-volume novel, and, in three parts, tells the story of Kaji (Tatsuya Nakadai), an idealistic technocrat and it's his story, his anguish that contrasts this sprawling epic, which encompasses so many vistas, so many changes of weather and scenery, that this is about as near as a movie gets to recreating the scope of a novel.
It's really about one man trying to change things in the face of so much oppression; a man trying to make things better despite the increasingly hostility and loneliness he suffers.
On one hand he could be seen as a stubborn, self-righteous prig, and, on the other, a true moralist, standing up for the rights of the individual, who usually had no say in how they find themselves, especially as this film is set around WWII, a time of termoil for most.
I enjoyed the film, even though it was the longest I've sat through in about a year. Much of what he goes through in the film resonated with me, in my own experiences. There's a lack of morality and decency in a lot of a humanity, or lack thereof. I bemoan comments like "Well, that's just the way it is." It isn't. It's a choice, and we must never forget that whilst most of us don't understand why we're on planet Earth, our dealings with each other could be a whole lot more productive and happier.
Brother Ali- he ain't no terrorist.
Brother Ali, Barfly, Camden, London (15th Sep 2009)
After a schizophrenic summer in London, where the sun shone sporadically, this concert, featuring Minnesota based Brother Ali, was prefaced by an all-day downpour, which, thankfully, didn't dampen the spirit of the sold-out crowd at the intimate Barfly.
Sporting a green Adidas tracksuit with gold stripes, contrasting with his highly publicised, but never exploited Albino skin, Brother Ali cut a stocky, cuddly figure as he took to the stage. Having a self-effacing, good-natured vibe about him, he got the crowd on side with tracks from his new album 'US' (Rymesayers Entertainment) which deals with such diverse subjects as his family ('Preacher', featuring an infectious drum and trumpet pattern); positive thinking and self-belief ('Crown Jewels'); poverty ('House Keys'); and the immigration experience ('The Travelers').
Equally diverse is the production from Ant, from underground rap group Atmosphere. Using DATS featuring funky trumpets, guitars, drums and pianos, Brother Ali took his audience on a journey of reflective, almost bluesy tranquillity- as if rap had finally grown up from its angry roots and successfully channelled its frustrations.
To balance the seriousness of some of his themes and rhymes Brother Ali knew when the time was right to show his sense of humour. He goofed off with some witty anecdotes and let his DJ BK-One show off his talents with a Latin American inspired, electrically funky mix of carefully thought out production and turntable wizardry.
Brother Ali is fast becoming a stalwart of a rap industry that falls between two stools: the conscious grafters who stay below the radar and the 'stars' who get the fame and fortune, but don't move the art form forward. If anything, the Lil Wayne’s of the rap world bring it back to its more vapid, party-orientated days. Not that I'm hating on the latter, but Brother Ali's blend of bluesy and intelligent hip-hop is a rare breed, even rarer for it to be heard live.
Going on the evidence tonight, Hip-hop has lost a lot of its angry, unfocused energy and managed to make 'golden age' generational fans proud, whilst picking up new heads along the way. Words like ‘edutainment’ have been absent in rap circles ever since KRS-1 lost his relevance; but Brother Ali's picked up the mantel and ran with it.
Ali’s paid homage to rappers like Public Enemy and Ice Cube and moved things on a pace. It has nothing to do with colour; it has everything to do with attitude. He’s the keeping-it-real face of mature hip-hop for cats that like to think beyond the blunt and the cheap fumble. Masta Ace once said: 'Take a Look Around.' -you couldn't have a better guide that Brother Ali.
After a schizophrenic summer in London, where the sun shone sporadically, this concert, featuring Minnesota based Brother Ali, was prefaced by an all-day downpour, which, thankfully, didn't dampen the spirit of the sold-out crowd at the intimate Barfly.
Sporting a green Adidas tracksuit with gold stripes, contrasting with his highly publicised, but never exploited Albino skin, Brother Ali cut a stocky, cuddly figure as he took to the stage. Having a self-effacing, good-natured vibe about him, he got the crowd on side with tracks from his new album 'US' (Rymesayers Entertainment) which deals with such diverse subjects as his family ('Preacher', featuring an infectious drum and trumpet pattern); positive thinking and self-belief ('Crown Jewels'); poverty ('House Keys'); and the immigration experience ('The Travelers').
Equally diverse is the production from Ant, from underground rap group Atmosphere. Using DATS featuring funky trumpets, guitars, drums and pianos, Brother Ali took his audience on a journey of reflective, almost bluesy tranquillity- as if rap had finally grown up from its angry roots and successfully channelled its frustrations.
To balance the seriousness of some of his themes and rhymes Brother Ali knew when the time was right to show his sense of humour. He goofed off with some witty anecdotes and let his DJ BK-One show off his talents with a Latin American inspired, electrically funky mix of carefully thought out production and turntable wizardry.
Brother Ali is fast becoming a stalwart of a rap industry that falls between two stools: the conscious grafters who stay below the radar and the 'stars' who get the fame and fortune, but don't move the art form forward. If anything, the Lil Wayne’s of the rap world bring it back to its more vapid, party-orientated days. Not that I'm hating on the latter, but Brother Ali's blend of bluesy and intelligent hip-hop is a rare breed, even rarer for it to be heard live.
Going on the evidence tonight, Hip-hop has lost a lot of its angry, unfocused energy and managed to make 'golden age' generational fans proud, whilst picking up new heads along the way. Words like ‘edutainment’ have been absent in rap circles ever since KRS-1 lost his relevance; but Brother Ali's picked up the mantel and ran with it.
Ali’s paid homage to rappers like Public Enemy and Ice Cube and moved things on a pace. It has nothing to do with colour; it has everything to do with attitude. He’s the keeping-it-real face of mature hip-hop for cats that like to think beyond the blunt and the cheap fumble. Masta Ace once said: 'Take a Look Around.' -you couldn't have a better guide that Brother Ali.
Thursday, 9 July 2009
SUGAR BEAR- THE ONE SHOT WONDER FROM LONG ISLAND
Back in 1988 when I was sixteen years of age, submerged in the golden era of hip-hop, I constantly heard this one track which always started with the now immortal words: “I said it before, time after time, whoaaaaaa… don’t scandalize mine” before the track whip-cracked into the Talking Heads sample from “Once in a Lifetime”.
It took a while to find out who this rapper was and when I found out it was the self-confessed “Powerful Powerlord from Strong Island” known as Sugar Bear- who took his name from the advertising cartoon mascot of the 1950s American breakfast cereal Super Sugar Crisp- I was duly impressed. “Scandalize” played well with everything at the time, especially Doug Lazy’s epic hip-house track “Let it Roll”.
Sugar Bear, a.k.a Teddy Jackson was, at the time, the manager for Townhouse 3-who became Son of Bezerk-and wrote rhymes in his spare time, mainly as a hobby. Befriending Chuck D on his pioneering radio show Spectrum City (the original name for Public Enemy) at Adelphi University, Sugar Bear would showcase his rhymes along with his crew, the Players Club. Opening for such acts as The Fat Boys, Sugar Bear gained some valuable experience of the rap music industry, especially in how to rock a crowd.
Sugar Bear’s crowning glory came with the single “Don’t Scandalize Mine” b/w Ready to Penetrate”, the brainchild of Sugar Bear whilst testing out ideas with Paul Shabazz, friend and studio space sharer of Bomb Squad producer Hank Shocklee.
Producer GM Web D, nowadays a producer for MF Doom, laid down the track for “Scandalize”, which, originally, wasn’t the “Once in a Lifetime” sample, but a far slower incarnation. Once the Talking Head’s sample had been laced under Sugar Bear’s rhymes, he knew he had something.
But Long Island and the rest of North America wasn’t really feeling “Scandalize”. Save for a little radio play in New York, the single didn’t really bring the noise, despite being pressed up by little-known Coslit Records and then picked up by Next Plateau, also home to the Ultramagnetic Mc’s. Why the track may not have had the impact it should have could be linked to fellow New York rappers DJ Chuck Chillout and Cool Chip, who had already used the same sample on their seminal track “Rhythm is the Master”, with backing from big label Polygram.
Ironically, U.K hip-hop and club heads embraced the single with surprising results: it became an underground hit with crossover appeal. So much so that Sugar Bear got exposure and a lucrative tour in the U.K and Europe.
The U.K has always embraced the ‘real’ hip-hop coming out of New York, especially in the 1980s and “Don’t Scandalize Mine” (a metaphor for ‘mind your own business’) remains-along with Most Wanted’s “Calm Down”, Mantronix’s “King of the Beats” and Masta Ace’s’ “Letter to the Better”- a New York bastard child adopted by British surrogate parents.
Interestingly, the ‘B’ side of “Scandalize”, “Ready to Penetrate”, became reincarnated by Public Enemy four years later for “Tie Goes to The Runner”, off their otherwise poorly conceived “Greatest Misses” album.
Very little is known about Sugar Bear in the intervening years. It has been documented that he’s happily married with children and, I assume, has a normal life, away from the music industry.
His brush with fame, whilst all too brief, was, for a one-shot wonder, more interesting and longer-lasting than most. Perhaps if he had actually joined Public Enemy, he may have made it to the hall of fame, the pantheon of hip hop greatness. I suspect he’s happy he was just a part of it all in the first place.
It took a while to find out who this rapper was and when I found out it was the self-confessed “Powerful Powerlord from Strong Island” known as Sugar Bear- who took his name from the advertising cartoon mascot of the 1950s American breakfast cereal Super Sugar Crisp- I was duly impressed. “Scandalize” played well with everything at the time, especially Doug Lazy’s epic hip-house track “Let it Roll”.
Sugar Bear, a.k.a Teddy Jackson was, at the time, the manager for Townhouse 3-who became Son of Bezerk-and wrote rhymes in his spare time, mainly as a hobby. Befriending Chuck D on his pioneering radio show Spectrum City (the original name for Public Enemy) at Adelphi University, Sugar Bear would showcase his rhymes along with his crew, the Players Club. Opening for such acts as The Fat Boys, Sugar Bear gained some valuable experience of the rap music industry, especially in how to rock a crowd.
Sugar Bear’s crowning glory came with the single “Don’t Scandalize Mine” b/w Ready to Penetrate”, the brainchild of Sugar Bear whilst testing out ideas with Paul Shabazz, friend and studio space sharer of Bomb Squad producer Hank Shocklee.
Producer GM Web D, nowadays a producer for MF Doom, laid down the track for “Scandalize”, which, originally, wasn’t the “Once in a Lifetime” sample, but a far slower incarnation. Once the Talking Head’s sample had been laced under Sugar Bear’s rhymes, he knew he had something.
But Long Island and the rest of North America wasn’t really feeling “Scandalize”. Save for a little radio play in New York, the single didn’t really bring the noise, despite being pressed up by little-known Coslit Records and then picked up by Next Plateau, also home to the Ultramagnetic Mc’s. Why the track may not have had the impact it should have could be linked to fellow New York rappers DJ Chuck Chillout and Cool Chip, who had already used the same sample on their seminal track “Rhythm is the Master”, with backing from big label Polygram.
Ironically, U.K hip-hop and club heads embraced the single with surprising results: it became an underground hit with crossover appeal. So much so that Sugar Bear got exposure and a lucrative tour in the U.K and Europe.
The U.K has always embraced the ‘real’ hip-hop coming out of New York, especially in the 1980s and “Don’t Scandalize Mine” (a metaphor for ‘mind your own business’) remains-along with Most Wanted’s “Calm Down”, Mantronix’s “King of the Beats” and Masta Ace’s’ “Letter to the Better”- a New York bastard child adopted by British surrogate parents.
Interestingly, the ‘B’ side of “Scandalize”, “Ready to Penetrate”, became reincarnated by Public Enemy four years later for “Tie Goes to The Runner”, off their otherwise poorly conceived “Greatest Misses” album.
Very little is known about Sugar Bear in the intervening years. It has been documented that he’s happily married with children and, I assume, has a normal life, away from the music industry.
His brush with fame, whilst all too brief, was, for a one-shot wonder, more interesting and longer-lasting than most. Perhaps if he had actually joined Public Enemy, he may have made it to the hall of fame, the pantheon of hip hop greatness. I suspect he’s happy he was just a part of it all in the first place.
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Sunday, 28 June 2009
MICHAEL JACKSON: DID HE STOP WHEN HE HAD ENOUGH?
No matter what you might think of Michael Jackson in his later years- by later years, I mean post 1987, when he had his best years behind him after the album "Bad"- he was a genius of showbiz talent and pizazz. Along with his mentor and super-producer Quincy Jones, his albums "Off the Wall", "Thriller" and "Bad" changed the face of modern music. These were stone-cold classics of mainstream R n b and that crossed over into the pop market. I vow anyone not to dance if "Billie Jean" ever came on in a club or at a dance or wedding, even "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" and "Rock With You" have their moments. The album, "Thriller", didn't become the biggest selling album of all-time for no reason. Thanks to Michael's talent and Quincy Jones' production, the album was 40 minutes of tightly arranged music and amazing songs, seven of which were released as singles and all of which went to No.1, in country after country, transcending race, gender, nationality and class.
Jackson, a product of an over-bearing and emotionally abusive father, never had a childhood, and was propelled into the limelight far too young. Obviously he had the talent and it needed to be nurtured, there was no point in pushing him out to work like some Motown chimney sweep at such a young age.
Not surprisingly, his later years were a delayed reaction to not having a proper childhood, having far too much money, too many hangers on and having an identity crisis which made him as troubled as he was. The skin condition, so severe that it changed his pigmentation, opened him to ridicule. His relationship with a monkey, made a monkey of his reputation. His possibly sexualised interest in young kids, overstepped the boundaries of fondness for children, making him somewhat of a pariah.
I remember the 15 minute video of "Thriller", a sort of riff on "American Werewolf in London", in which Michael becomes possessed, mainly because nothing like that had been seen before. As a mini-movie it blew people away, especially with the special effects and choreography. Michael's grace and dexterity in his dance moves, along with the synchronised zombies was fantastic, especially for 1984 and which has stood the test of time. The video didn't have all the flashy whip-panning or crane shots or sweeping movements, it just was able to capture the entire essence, letting Michael do his thing. In the U.K the video was so 'scary', they rated it "15", meaning you couldn't see it unless you were 15 or over. For some reason, we all watched it under-age in a chemistry lab, with the teachers blessing. I think they showed it on TV sometime after. But the video started the sell-through VHS craze and fans were only too happy to pay the £20 (a lot in 1984) asking price for a bit of thriller.
There was no way he was going to be able to do 50 shows at the O2 in London. Even if these shows were not 50 in a row, they still would have tested the endurance of any man or woman. Even Madonna, as fit as she is, would have struggled. It seems all the prescription drugs he was taking, the stress and pressure he put himself under, the enormous debts, the near-miss conviction for child molestation, all compounded his frail frame, until he couldn't take it anymore.
I didn't care for his later work, after 1987, and after Bad. By then he had go a bit potty and his aura became irritating and put me off. I liked "Remember the Time" as a song, but the rest left be cold. He had all the moves and sang all the right notes, but I think he just couldn't live a normal life, which is what he so badly craved. His death seemed to be symbolic of that famous white glove being held up as some sort of indication of surrender. Truly stopping when he had enough.
Sad that he's gone, but his music will live on and for Generation X, my generation, he'll be forever known as our Sinatra, our Elvis.
Jackson, a product of an over-bearing and emotionally abusive father, never had a childhood, and was propelled into the limelight far too young. Obviously he had the talent and it needed to be nurtured, there was no point in pushing him out to work like some Motown chimney sweep at such a young age.
Not surprisingly, his later years were a delayed reaction to not having a proper childhood, having far too much money, too many hangers on and having an identity crisis which made him as troubled as he was. The skin condition, so severe that it changed his pigmentation, opened him to ridicule. His relationship with a monkey, made a monkey of his reputation. His possibly sexualised interest in young kids, overstepped the boundaries of fondness for children, making him somewhat of a pariah.
I remember the 15 minute video of "Thriller", a sort of riff on "American Werewolf in London", in which Michael becomes possessed, mainly because nothing like that had been seen before. As a mini-movie it blew people away, especially with the special effects and choreography. Michael's grace and dexterity in his dance moves, along with the synchronised zombies was fantastic, especially for 1984 and which has stood the test of time. The video didn't have all the flashy whip-panning or crane shots or sweeping movements, it just was able to capture the entire essence, letting Michael do his thing. In the U.K the video was so 'scary', they rated it "15", meaning you couldn't see it unless you were 15 or over. For some reason, we all watched it under-age in a chemistry lab, with the teachers blessing. I think they showed it on TV sometime after. But the video started the sell-through VHS craze and fans were only too happy to pay the £20 (a lot in 1984) asking price for a bit of thriller.
There was no way he was going to be able to do 50 shows at the O2 in London. Even if these shows were not 50 in a row, they still would have tested the endurance of any man or woman. Even Madonna, as fit as she is, would have struggled. It seems all the prescription drugs he was taking, the stress and pressure he put himself under, the enormous debts, the near-miss conviction for child molestation, all compounded his frail frame, until he couldn't take it anymore.
I didn't care for his later work, after 1987, and after Bad. By then he had go a bit potty and his aura became irritating and put me off. I liked "Remember the Time" as a song, but the rest left be cold. He had all the moves and sang all the right notes, but I think he just couldn't live a normal life, which is what he so badly craved. His death seemed to be symbolic of that famous white glove being held up as some sort of indication of surrender. Truly stopping when he had enough.
Sad that he's gone, but his music will live on and for Generation X, my generation, he'll be forever known as our Sinatra, our Elvis.
Saturday, 20 June 2009
TRANSFORMERS 2: WHAT AN ORDEAL!
I saw "Transformers 2" yesterday. For some reason, it opened in London before most of the rest of the world. Wow, this was probably the dullest, most stupid and irritating film I've seen in a long time. Like watching paint dry, while being punched in the face at the same time. Transformers as characters are dull visually, so I'm not sure why they would have made a good movie in the first place. The plot ends up being some symbol-driven Indian Jones quest for something that makes no sense, as does most of the film, which means there's consistency, but not a fun film, at all.
There's the stock shouty sidekick character, a lot of boring explosions and endless minutes of over-sized robots knocking the crap out of each other, which, without any characterisation or plot development is just an exercise in sitting with very expensive computers and having a lot of money to make these things visually interesting, which given the results means that isolating yourself from the screenplay and the rest of the movie, gives the money a fractured feel- between the non-existent plot and the explosion pornography.
If any of it made sense, then the payoff would be somewhat compelling, but this film insults its audience. Nothing wrong with dumb Summer movie, but not so quite stupid and annoying and boring would have helped. Especially, as they added two Transformers that have obviously being hanging around gangs in the ghetto, because they speak so "street". Jar Jar Binks-all is forgiven.
The set pieces are boring too, especially as they're made in isolation to any hint of a plot that engages or makes sense. At 150 minutes, it's at least an hour overlong. People may say, "well, what did you expect?". True, I wasn't expecting great things, but, in contrast, I didn't expect something so stupidly dull. I'm sure it'll clear up at the box office, but I'll be looking for Michael Mann's new movie to re-engage my cinematic taste buds. I'm not a film snob, but "Transformers 2" upset my sensibilities and didn't entertain. I'm sure it'll make a bundle... which is a pretty sad state of affairs for movies for the future. And Foxy Megan Fox might look hotter than Palm Springs in August, but she'd give Jeppeto a run for his money in the wooden stakes.
There's the stock shouty sidekick character, a lot of boring explosions and endless minutes of over-sized robots knocking the crap out of each other, which, without any characterisation or plot development is just an exercise in sitting with very expensive computers and having a lot of money to make these things visually interesting, which given the results means that isolating yourself from the screenplay and the rest of the movie, gives the money a fractured feel- between the non-existent plot and the explosion pornography.
If any of it made sense, then the payoff would be somewhat compelling, but this film insults its audience. Nothing wrong with dumb Summer movie, but not so quite stupid and annoying and boring would have helped. Especially, as they added two Transformers that have obviously being hanging around gangs in the ghetto, because they speak so "street". Jar Jar Binks-all is forgiven.
The set pieces are boring too, especially as they're made in isolation to any hint of a plot that engages or makes sense. At 150 minutes, it's at least an hour overlong. People may say, "well, what did you expect?". True, I wasn't expecting great things, but, in contrast, I didn't expect something so stupidly dull. I'm sure it'll clear up at the box office, but I'll be looking for Michael Mann's new movie to re-engage my cinematic taste buds. I'm not a film snob, but "Transformers 2" upset my sensibilities and didn't entertain. I'm sure it'll make a bundle... which is a pretty sad state of affairs for movies for the future. And Foxy Megan Fox might look hotter than Palm Springs in August, but she'd give Jeppeto a run for his money in the wooden stakes.
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