CALIFORNIA LOVE?

I've just come back from a trip to Los Angeles to see my dad, catch up with some old NYU friends and make some new ones. This must be the fifth time in the modern era (post 2006) since my dad emigrated there. Whilst the weather is lovely, sometimes barmy, sometimes a little too humid, and, even, sometimes a bit chilly, certain aspects of Californian life bug the hell out of me. Namely, that because Los Angeles is such as car-o-centric city, it treats pedestrians as a massive inconvenience. Every time I walked across a road, I'd have a bloody car snaking behind me, impatiently trying to turn left or right. They couldn't wait for me to cross completely, oh no, that would be too much to ask, even though they're supposed to yield to people crossing the road, and so many of them stick one or two fingers up to that process. I got so annoyed with it, that, at times, I gave an extended finger, a clear indication of how pissed off I was because people were so bloody impatient and rude, sitting in their air-conditioned cars. California, especially Pasadena, is not a fast, zippy state. Its palm trees and good weather and plastic blond Stepford Wives identikit washboard stomached females don't really inspire running around like a blue arsed fly. It's a bit like the bunny in the Cadbury's Caramel ad: 'take it nice and slow.. take it easy'. Anyway, apart from that-some incidents where no one understood my accent and experiences of really annoying vapidity, which certain Californians do so well, ignoring nuance, sarcasm and irony-things went quite well; it's hard not to have fun in Los Angeles, no matter what you're doing.

Watching a half-cleaned up print of John Ford's "Stagecoach" was one of the highlights. I say half-cleaned, because UCLA touted this film as 'really cleaned up'- it wasn't close. But, still, it was great to see it on the big screen after a long absence in the Academy's screening room in L.A, complete with Buck Rogers episodes and a Loony Toons cartoon. Thanks, dad, for buying the ticket. My only gripe is that they need to be more contemporary, just like the stuffy Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. More like the New Beverly, which doesn't have the 'agenda' the Egyptian clearly does. Cinema needs to be inclusive, not exclusive. I'm sure my dad would beg to differ, but I'm sticking to my guns. The Hal Ashby 'Harold and Maude' screening on the 25Th of June looks excellent, taking back everything I just said about the Academy not being contemporary. ' If you want to sing out, sing out. If you want to be free, be free. There's a million ways to be', as Cat Stevens once wrote and that ditty is the signature toon of Hal Ashby's joyful, humanistic comedy masterpiece 'Harold and Maude'- one the greatest movies of all time, and especially of the 1970s.

A trip to Oakland via Burbank airport went well. I enjoyed the BART subway line in San Francisco and the dinner that evening in North Beach went well, with a wonderfully beautiful trip walking across the Golden Gate Bridge. Fisherman's Wharf and the Castro district followed in the morning/afternoon, including some shopping for a G-Shock watch, Old Navy T-Shirts and the plane back in time for early evening. I missed having lunch at Crackerbarrel- very few exist on the West Coast, but I made up for it in a decent diner in the same area.

The two trips to Long Beach were great fun. Visiting Rosco's Chicken and Waffles is something to be done only once, given the huge slab of fried chicken and waffle you get given. Tasty as all hell, but heart attack city if you made that a staple of your diet, which many seem to, especially in the deep South, where there are variations on Rosco's. The surprise trip to San Diego was great, especially the hotel with the harbour view. Downtown was a little too crazy for my liking, but booze, cherry pie and good company made up for it. The trip to Tijuana was aborted at the border when we chickened out of going through to the Mexican side, mainly because everyone had told us how dangerous it was. Taking a straw poll of various people, they all said 'no', in no uncertain terms.

But Coronado was great, especially the hotel where they filmed "Some Like It Hot' and the beach attached to it. The food wasn't great, but the company, atmosphere and weather made it a lot more palatable.

So, another successful trip to the West Coast. Thanks to everyone who made it possible.

As a post script to the holiday, I thought the flights there and back on Virgin Atlantic sucked majorly. The flight out was long, cramped and for some reason the new planes on Virgin's fleet are smaller, meaning less slack at the back of the plane where you usually can rest up, stretch your legs, which has been replaced by a poky toilet and crew food preparation and rest area. It makes the room in the galley pretty small with people frustrated that they have to use the tiny amount of space they have wisely and in consideration of others- not always successfully, I may add.

The flight back was even worse: crap food, more indifferent service, the same poky toilet set up, which meant up to 80 people for one loo. I had some female member of cabin crew slam the door on me because she had been too stupid to lock it, thereby avoiding that kind of thing. Good to see they notice their own notices- not! Also, throughout the night flight, around 15 times we entered pockets of turbulence, with a captain obviously covering his arse but not using best judgement. This meant returning to seat, fastening the seat belt and then having a pissed-off cabin crew with a pen-light coming round to check you've fastened your belt. I wouldn't have minded, but I was trying to get the bleach out of my eyes and sleep on the 10Th time. After it went on and on, I ended up calling them Virgin Pedantic and vowing never to fly with them again, which I haven't vowed since my trip to New Orleans in 2005 with U.S Airways when I had to sit next to a very large man, sitting in the seat side-saddle with some very rude and stupid cabin staff on that journey too.

Anyway, all in all a good time was had by all. Roll on the next time, but with a different airline that doesn't cut space to the bone , forcing customers to have an endurance of a flight rather than an enjoyable one.